Showing posts with label Pimp. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pimp. Show all posts


Larry Johnson, 1991-92 Skybox (Basketball Week No. 2)

Name: Larry Johnson
Team: Charlotte Hornets
Position: Forward (in more ways than one)
Value of card: Six gold teeth
Key 1990-91 stat: 12 assists (from fashion consultants)
Larry Johnson's stream of consciousness, 9:43 to 9:45 a.m. Aug. 28, 1991: "What? What is this photographer saying? I can't hear him over my shirt. Man, I do look good, though. All this money they're giving me is going straight to radical duds, like these pants. White pants are great. They accentuate the bulge. Speaking of which, I should lift up my leg. Oh, yeah, that's the ticket. Gosh, this radioactive basketball they gave me sure is hot. I hope it's not melting my penicillin allergy bracelet. It burns! It burns! It burns! Good thing I gots so much ice in my gold teeth. Boo-ya! Forget what Mama said, a diamond-studded gold grill was a good use of $44,000. You know what else is awesome, the line I shaved in my hair. Boo-ya!"



Deion Sanders, 1992 Skybox Pimp Insert (Football Friday, No. 1)

Name: "Neon" Deion "Prime Time" Sanders
Team: Atlanta Falcons
Position: Cornerback, King of Slop
Value of card: $$
Key 1991 stat: Three Deions
Headline: The King of Pop dies at 50
A thriller on the field: They say there are no new ideas. They say average artists borrow; great artists steal. They say style is truth. If these statements are true, a small part of Deion Sanders died yesterday, June 25, when Michael Jackson succumbed to a heart attack. "Neon" Deion Sanders was a flamboyant athlete from Florida State University who played professional football and baseball. He was known, in this order, for his brash sense of style, his football skills and his minimal baseball IQ. By looking at the above card, it's obvious Sanders stole his fashion identity from Michael Jackson. Both adored leather jackets, gold and ridiculous hats. But Deion Sanders and Michael Jackson had more in common than style. Michael Jackson sang "Smooth Criminal." Deion Sanders is a criminal. Michael Jackson sang "Bad." Deion Sanders was bad at baseball. Michael Jackson sang "Man in the Mirror." In 1992, Deion Sanders got stuck in a house of mirrors (see above). Michael Jackson sang "P.Y.T." Deion Sanders was, by all accounts, a P.Y.T. in the early 1990s. But the strongest connection between the two should be obvious: They both made music that defined a generation.