Jim Palmer, 1973 Topps Boyhood Photos of the Stars

Names: Jimmy Palmer, Jim Palmer
Teams: Harrison Public School Aquanauts, Baltimore Orioles
Positions: Boy, ace
Value of card: One inner tube with a hole in it
Key 1972 stat: Two balks
Fun facts about Jimmy Palmer, circa 1954, and Jim Palmer, circa 1972:

• In 1954, Jimmy had a well-maintained, respectable haircut. In 1972, Jim had more hair than a chow chow on Rogaine.
•  In 1954, Jimmy liked to go for a swim down at the local watering hole. In 1972, Jim liked to go for a drink down at the local watering hole.
• In 1954, Jimmy wore a rubber inner tube for safety. In 1972, Jim usually didn't bother wearing rubbers for safety.
• In 1954, Jimmy occasionally posed shirtless for photos. A little after 1972, Jim started wearing even less.

Card submitted by Tyler Kepner

Jim Palmer, 1973 Topps Boyhood Photos of the Stars

Myron Pottios, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 220)

Name: Myron Pottios
Team: Washington Redskins
Position: M_ddle linebacker
Value of card: 3 ounces of backwashed squeeze bottle water
Key 1972 stat: Zero minutes of playing time
Top 10 reasons Myron Pottios got benched:
10) Too many toilet humor insults were hurled at him because of his last name.
9) He didn't want to make other players jealous of his hairdo.
8) He was so sad he couldn't peel himself off the bench.
7) Too many pads.
6) He had to take a shot of vodka out of a striped paper cup.
5) He was busy starring as Bluto Blutarsky in "Animal House."
4) Chin was too deadly a weapon for a football field.
3) Couldn't fit his helmet over his sideburns.
2) He didn't believe in playing for a team whose name was considered a racist slur by the people it was meant to represent.
1) The team didn't have a position for a m_ddle linebacker.

Myron Pottios, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 220)

Reggie Jackson, 1973 Topps

Name: Reggie Jackson
Team: Oakland A's
Position: Outfield
Value of card: It's clear it's worth nothing
Key 1972 stat: 2,216 photos of Jackson in 1972 better than this one
It's time for The Caption, which we know didn't run in the Oakland Tribune in the early 1970s: "Reggie Jackson, center, might be throwing a ball from the outfield at the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in a game against the Chicago White Sox, but because the photo is so blurry we're not even sure this was against the White Sox, or even that it was taken during a baseball game, or, for that matter, whether it's really Jackson, on Tuesday in Oakland, maybe."

Reggie Jackson, 1973 Topps

John Riggins, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 209)

Name: John Riggins
Team: New York Jets
Position: Running back
Value of card: The broken radio antenna from that sweet '71 Oldsmobile in the background
Key 1973 stat: Put Bill Bradley to shame
Hair's the catch: Football fans know that John Riggins was a tough guy, a hard-nosed runner who was never one to shy away from contact. But few remember that Riggins appealed to the league before the 1973 season to let him play without a helmet, arguing that his luxurious afro would absorb any impact on the field      and adding that it would be a crime to cover it up in any way. The NFL decided to allow Riggins to forgo his hat for one preseason game as a trial. The running back, as you might expect, was knocked unconscious in the first quarter. The league then quickly denied Riggins' appeal      not because it was concerned about concussions or player safety (as we've come to learn), but because of commissioner Pete Rozelle's incredible hair envy.

John Riggins, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 209)

Norm Snead and Earl Morrall, 1973 Topps NFL Passing Leaders (Football Friday No. 206)

Names: Norm Snead, Earl Morrall
Teams: New York Giants, Miami Dolphins
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: Zero rushing yards, combined
Key 1972 stat: Zero logos
It's time for a pass-happy edition of The Matchup:

Round 1: Movie star bangs (Winner: Snead)
Round 2: Military flat top (Winner: Morrall)
Round 3: Dentist-friendly teeth (Winner: Snead)
Round 4: Johnny Unitas look-alike (Winner: Morrall)
Round 5: Desire to represent team (Winner: Tie, neither)
Round 6: Four-letter first name that could be the same as your grandfather's (Winner: Tie)
Round 7: Crayola-drawn jersey (Winner: Morrall)

Score: Morrall 3, Snead 2, Ties 2

Synopsis: When two top passers get matched up, the contest is sure to be tight. Luckily for Morrall, a 4-year-old with a crayon helped push him over the edge to victory.

Norm Snead and Earl Morrall, 1973 Topps NFL Passing Leaders (Football Friday No. 206)

Howard Twilley, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 205)

Name: Howard Twilley
Team: Miami Dolphins
Position: Wide receiver
Value of card: An empty, unwashed can of tuna
Key 1973 stat: Two catches (not including the one on this card)
Howard Twilley's train of thought from 9:43 to 9:44 a.m., Aug. 4, 1973: "By the saints, what is this thing!? It looks like some sort of leathery dinosaur egg. Why did Griese throw it to me? I don't want to even look at this blasted object, let alone touch it. Oh heavens, it's causing all the veins in my right arm to swell to a grotesque size! Help me, Mother Mary, help me!"

Howard Twilley, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 205)

Chester Marcol and Bobby Howfield, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 199)

Names: Chester Marcol, Bobby Howfield
Teams: Green Bay Packers, New York Jets
Position: Kickers, both of 'em
Value of card: Four broken kicking tees
Key 1972 stats: Kicked a lot of field goals, or something
It's time for a special (teams) Matchup:

Round 1: Tiny little itsy-bitsy head (Winner: Marcol)
Round 2: Jersey airbrushed green even though he didn't switch teams (Winner: Marcol)
Round 3: Illuminated by the sweet, bright light of heaven itself (Winner: Howfield)
Round 4: Cultivated sideburns to make up for male-pattern baldness (Winner: Howfield)
Round 5: White-guy 'fro (Winner: Marcol)
Round 6: Could be mistaken for some sort of English gentleman (Winner: Howfield)
Round 7: Could be mistaken for a 12-year-old (Winner: Marcol)
Round 8: Mastered the art of posing in front of a tree (Winner: Tie)

Final score: Marcol 4, Howfield 3 (Ties: 1)

Synopsis: It went down to the wire, but thanks to his boyish charm and needlessly retouched uniform, Chester Marcol split the uprights in this Matchup, sending Bobby Howfield and the Jets to another defeat. (Don't worry, they're used to it.)

Chester Marcol and Bobby Howfield, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 199)

Tom Dempsey, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 178)

Name: Tom Dempsey
Team: Philadelphia Eagles
Position: Big, fat kicker
Value of card: The grease at the bottom of a used McDonald's bag
Key 1972 stat: Played for an actual NFL team
Look and admire: This, ladies and gentlemen, is a professional athlete. Stand in awe of the grace, the power, the talent, the tight-fitting pants. See how his second chin helps steady his head as he lines up his kick. Admire the way his little hoof-like foot rises higher than his mega-sideburn, bowl-cut hairdo and into the sky, pointing in the direction he wants the ball to go. You don't think kickers are real football players? Well, Mr. Tom Dempsey would like to have a word with you      right after he finishes his second cheesesteak.

Tom Dempsey, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 178)

Joe Namath, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 173)

Name: Joe Namath
Team: New York Jets
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: "Ask your sister," Namath says
Key 1972 stat: "Ask your mother," Namath says
Joe Namath's nickname was "Broadway"; here are some plays he starred in:

• "Miss Saigon (Did Her)"
• "A Chorus Line (Nailed Them All)"
• "Beauty and the Beast (Hey, It was a Long Night)"
• "Hello, Dolly! (Well Hello)"
• "My Fair Lady (Cough, Cough, Not So Fair)"
• "Mary Poppins (Hey-o!)"
• "Mamma Mia! (Nothin' Wrong with a Little Age, Ya Know?)"
• "Jersey Boys (Sorry, Fellas, No Chance)"
• "Annie (Check)"
• "Aida (Check)"
• "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (Ahem)"
• "Evita (Who Doesn't Like a Little Latina Flava?)"
• "Dreamgirls (Story of My Life)"
• "Cats (Hey, I was in Thailand)"

Joe Namath, 1973 Topps (Football Friday No. 173)