12.23.2013

Mike Schmidt and Pete Rose, 1982 Donruss Phillies Finest


Name: Mike Schmidt, Pete Rose
Team: Philadelphia Phillies
Positions: Third base, first base
Value of card: Two plays on a nickel slot machine
Key 1981 stat: 12,381 times ridiculed for uniforms' ridiculous color combination
It's time for a City of Brotherly Love edition of The Matchup:

Round 1: Most tire rubber wrapped around chest and stomach (Winner: Rose)
Round 2: Weight of mustache, in pounds (Winner: Schmidt)
Round 3: Haircut most likely to be seen on "Little House on the Prairie" (Winner: Rose)
Round 4: Most actual bird feathers in unkempt haircut's wings (Winner: Schmidt)
Round 5: Volume of baby-blue bulge (Winner: Tie)
Round 6: Amount of blood flow restricted due to skintight pants (Winner: Tie)
Round 7: Number of clipboards held awkwardly at side during a (cough, cough) professional photo shoot (Winner: Schmidt)

Score: Schmidt 3, Rose 2, Ties 2

Synopsis: It was a tight battle with little love lost between Charlie Hustle and Schmidty in the City of Brotherly Love, but, as usual, the Hall of Famer came out on top. You can bet on it.
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