6.10.2009

Jose Canseco, 1991 Score Dream Team

Name: Jose Canseco
Teams: Oakland A's, Jordache
Positions: Right field, Dreamboat, Fashion model
Value of card: One shirt
Key 1990 stat: 33 hearts broken
A stud for all seasons: Jose Canseco hit home runs. Jose Canseco stole bases. He drove Ferraris. He romanced movie stars and pop singers. He rescued orphans from Yugoslavian sweatshops and lassoed meteors, which he then used in batting practice. He became the first 40/40 man in the history of the universe. Despite all these accomplishments, Canseco's legacy will be tethered to something else he brought to the game of baseball: sudden growth. All it took was two pecs, a sweet swing, dripping sex appeal and a skyrocketing testosterone level.
Putting the "stare" back in "steroids": In 1990, baseball needed a spark. So Commissioner Fay Vincent contacted baseball card company Score — you read that correctly, SCORE — as well as the most stylish clothing company of the era, Jordache. Vincent said the future of the game hinged on transforming a player into a sex symbol. Enter Canseco. At the time, the all-star was self-conscious about his body. He thought he was scrawny. Vincent offered him some guidance: "Bulk up fast." Canseco took the advice, began a decade-long addiction to steroids and posed for the centerfold seen above. Baseball's ratings grew. Lonely housewives found meaning. Prepubescent girls started collecting cards. The Oakland Coliseum was suddenly filled with fans from San Francisco. Baseball had reached out to new fans, all thanks to one shirtless stud whose legend expanded as his testicles shrunk.

Card submitted by Kevin Rand

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14 comments:

  1. Now, I'm happier that the 7-foot, 2-inch, 330-pound Korean beat his ass.

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  2. This card appeared in The Argus in 1991. Pretty funny.

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