12.22.2014

John Candelaria, 1977 Topps


Name: John Candelaria
Team: Pittsburgh Pirates
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 7 ounces of excrement from a pirate's parrot
Key 1976 stat: 276 women seduced with a glance
It's time for a very hairy pop quiz:

Why did the ladies love John Candelaria?

(A) His salon-quality hair put theirs to shame.
(B) He had the penmanship of a 19th-century poet.
(C) That tickling sensation from the wisps of his mini-mustache.
(D) What woman doesn't want a Pirate with a little booty?
(E) All of the above.
Share/Save/Bookmark

3 comments:

  1. Who can take tomorrow and dip it in a dream, separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream? The Candel Man, the Candel Man can...

    ReplyDelete
  2. He looks like a Freddie Mercury wanna be.

    ReplyDelete
  3. VOTE FOR PEDRO!

    ReplyDelete