Zane Smith, 1990 Upper Deck

Name: Zane Smith
Team: Montreal Expos
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: A tenth of a loon. Not the Canadian currency — the bird.
Key 1989 stat: Endless sex appeal
Here's what Zane Smith stands for:

Zero trips to the dentist.
All right, one trip to the dentist. But it was just to pick up a friend.
Nose appears to be only normal part of face.
Even after you leave this page, that stare will stay with you.

Snaggletooth distracted hitters, acquaintances.
Mullet still easier to look at than that smile.
I'm pretty sure that uniform couldn't get much louder.
That lazy eye isn't doing him any favors, either.
Had 93 strikeouts in 1989 — and 930 strikeouts with the ladies that year.

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