Joe Oliver, 1990 Fleer

Name: Joe Oliver
Team: Cincinnati Reds
Position: Catcher
Value of card: Red
Key 1989 stat: 700 lipstick stains
Ten things you never wanted to know about Joe Oliver's catcher's mitt:
10) Its nickname was Hot Lips.
9) It never put out on the first date. Usually.
8) It kept custody of the kids when it and Oliver divorced in '98.
7) It never really liked baseball, but faked interest to keep Joe happy.
6) Its sister was Janice from the "Muppet Show" band.
5) It used to cheat on Oliver with starting catcher Jeff Reed.
4) It only chewed Big Red.
3) Its favorite pitch to catch was the high hard one.
2) Leathery on the outside, sweaty on the inside.
1) It only wore such garish lipstick for photo day.

1 comment:

  1. He looks like a dog that's just been shown a card trick.