Team: Pittsburgh Pirates
Value of card: Six used Band-Aids
Key 1987 stat: Zero times maintaining the area between his eyebrows
Is Andy Van Slyke having a medical emergency? Hmm, let's see. One side of his face definitely appears to be drooping, indicating a possible stroke. Or maybe it's just melting? Either way, that's a bad sign. Then, li'l Andy down there at the right may soon be a victim of a second-degree sunburn. Additionally, the mustache on li'l Andy looks like it's just completely fallen off of big Andy's face. We're pretty sure that might require a trip to the ER. So, yes, please call an ambulance before Mr. Van Slyke keels over.