Name: Magglio Ordonez
Team: Detroit Tigers®
Value of card: 6 ounces of Tiger Balm
Key 2004 stat: 215 long, long nights spent in Detroit
It's time for The Caption, which we're sure didn't run in the Detroit Free Press in 2005: "Magglio Ordonez, center, participates in a line-dancing routine in the middle of Grand Circus Park in downtown Detroit instead of showing up at Comerica Park for a Tigers game against the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim while wearing a mock turtleneck and getting mocked because his sweeps and turns weren't in lockstep with the senior citizens who organized the line-dancing event that Ordonez crashed Tuesday in Detroit."