Craig Smajstrla, 1990 CMC

Name: Craig Smajstrla
Team: Tucson Toros
Position: Infield
Value of card: 2 ounces of pigeon poop
Key 1989 stat: 11 bunt attempts missed
Houston Astros' scouting report on minor-leaguer Craig Smajstrla: "Some of our players need a math tutor, so this kid might work out. ... This guy's a clutch hitter for the Toros? That's a bunch of bull. ... Four-tool player: calculator, protractor, compass and pocket protector. ... Forget this guy, let's call up that batting helmet. ... Chin is big league, but we'll need to work on the rest of that face. ... Smaj, Smajst, Smajstr — hell, we don't need a player whose name sounds like toothpaste being sucked through a vacuum cleaner."

Card submitted by Fat Shawn Kemp

1 comment:

  1. Fun facts: he wasn't really a player, he was the team's accountant who snuck into the equipment room and stole a helmet, uniform and bat. Then he scheduled a photographer at 700 an hour to take the photo and sent it in with the rest of the team cards..

    A few weeks later the cards came out, and Craig dropped his on the GM's desk. Before the GM could say anything, Craig looked him in the eye and yelled, "and FUCK YOU!!! I'm out!" While tossing his calculator in the trash bin and leaving.