Team: Chicago White Sox
Value of card: 3 months of bird crap found inside a sparrow nest
Key 1983 stat: 20/80 vision
Grab your mace: "Hey baby. Come to this parking lot often? Huh-ha. (snort) Huh-ha. No, no, don't back away. I'm not trying to be creepy. I'm not a serial killer or anything. Huh-ha. (snort) Huh-ha. Do you like my panel van over here? It's really nice inside. You should see it some time. Why are you dialing on your phone? I'm not trying to scare you out of your clothes or anything. Huh-ha. (snort) Huh-ha. Do you like my glasses? All the better to see you with, my dear. Wait, why are you running away? I can be the man of your dreams. Don't you want me haunting your dreams? Wait, come back! (Puts rope, large plastic bag and shovel into the back of van.)"