Name: Kent Tekulve
Team: Pittsburgh Pirates
Value of card: 6 ounces of the part of a pirate's peg leg that touches the stump
Key 1980 stat: 20 stars on his Little League hat
It's time for The Caption, which we're sure did not run in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in the early 1980s: "Kent Tekulve, center, does a funky chicken dance on the mound while wearing aviator shades, one of the best baseball caps of all time and a uniform that blinded 12 fans who were already blind after throwing a sidearm slurve for the Pirates against the New York Mets at Three Rivers Stadium on a sweltering June day with 98 percent humidity made hotter by Tekulve's school-bus-yellow jersey and pants in Pittsburgh on Wednesday."