Name: Howard Twilley
Team: Miami Dolphins
Position: Wide receiver
Value of card: An empty, unwashed can of tuna
Key 1973 stat: Two catches (not including the one on this card)
Howard Twilley's train of thought from 9:43 to 9:44 a.m., Aug. 4, 1973: "By the saints, what is this thing!? It looks like some sort of leathery dinosaur egg. Why did Griese throw it to me? I don't want to even look at this blasted object, let alone touch it. Oh heavens, it's causing all the veins in my right arm to swell to a grotesque size! Help me, Mother Mary, help me!"