6.23.2014

Lloyd Moseby, 1987 Donruss Diamond Kings (Too Bad, Here Are More Diamond Kings Week No. 1)


Name: Lloyd Moseby
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Outfield
Value of card: $5 off your next anger management therapy session
Key 1986 stat: Leered at 72 different artists
Too bad, so sad: Look, we get it. Yes, we've posted so many atrocious, god-awful, dreadful, horrendous, and disturbing Donruss Diamond Kings that we had to apologize for it. But you know what, all six of you constant readers? We could never be as sorry as these baseball illustrations. So, too bad, here comes another week of the worst Dick Perez has to offer.
Diamond King divination: In many ways, this is a typical Donruss Diamond King. Here we have Lloyd Moseby, an above average, if unspectacular, baseball player. The painted backdrop of the card has absolutely nothing to do with the sport, instead featuring a solid block of magenta, on the right, that is apparently being refracted by Moseby's head into every color known to man, on the left. There are the requisite two versions of Moseby here, of course      the larger version featuring his face (not to mention several different skin tones) and the smaller version that looks absolutely nothing like him. But what makes this card special? It's the disgusted look on Moseby's face, which just happens to be the same exact expression made by anyone who found this gem in a freshly opened pack of cards. Way to predict the future, there, Mr. Perez!
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