5.05.2014

Wesley Person, 1996-97 Upper Deck (NBA Playoffs Week No. 1)


Name: Wesley Person
Team: Phoenix Suns
Position: Guard
Value of card: One dollar, ripped into 11 pieces and thrown in the pool
Key 1996-97 stat: Zero shots made underwater
Zing go the strings: Another season of dunks, flops and depressed Knicks fans is nearing its conclusion. To celebrate, we're bringing you seven more ludicrous basketball cards to match the number of steps LeBron can take before the refs call him for traveling. We'd say "Enjoy!" but that's probably a reach.
The wisdom of Upper Deck: As noted on the above card, Wesley Person could make jumpers in any kind of environment, apparently including while wearing a basketball uniform underwater. Here are a few shots of Person in assorted environments that didn't make the cut for this card.
  • Inside a meat locker, with a basketball made of meat
  • In space, with Patrick Ewing defending him
  • While being severely burned by a flamethrower
  • While being chased by a pack of hungry Arctic wolves
  • Inside a hockey rink, taking a Steve Nash slapshot to the groin
Card submitted by Douglas Corti
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