5.14.2014

Randy Johnson, 1995 Score


Name: Randy Johnson
Team: Seattle Mariners
Position: Ace
Value of card: Six feet and 10 inches of dog turds
Key 1994 stat: One sad
Randy Johnson's train of thought from 3:10 to 3:12 p.m., March 24, 1995: "Sigh. It's just not fair. Why do the guys always have to hold a limbo contest before practice starts? I can't bend that far     heck, my knees are taller that the starting point! Sigh. It sure does look like a lot of fun, though. Plus, the winner gets a Tupperware full of Griffey's jerk chicken and a bag of Buhner's finest Jamaican reefer. I like those things. Siiiigh. I guess I'll just sit over here by the bat rack and smell my mullet for a little while. Hmm, is that mustard? Mmm, Dijon! I remember that sandwich. Oh, man. Now I'm hungry. Sigh. Guess I'll just lick my palm until they're done."
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