Name: Mike Aldrete
Team: Montreal Expos
Position: Outfield in the logo; infield on the card
Value of card: It's low; way lowwwwwwww
Key 1989 stat: 2,861 people staring at him when he walked around Old Montreal like this
It's time for a Canadian pop quiz:
Just how low did Mike Aldrete go?
(A) So low, any lower and his bulge would have scraped the ground.
(B) So low, his knees locked and he was stuck in this position for the rest of his life.
(C) So low, it distracted fans from seeing he was constantly making an inappropriate gesture with his fist moving back and forth toward his cheek.
(D) So low, it was lower than the value of this card.
(E) All of the above.