Name: Mickey Hatcher
Team: Minnesota Twins
Value of card: One Mickey's 40-ounce
Key 1981 stat: 24 hours with a supreme being's glory shining on him
It's time for a religious pop quiz:
Why is Mickey Hatcher basking in God's good light from the heavens?
(A) Because God loves a professional athlete who needs Just for Men.
(B) Because God loves a grown man who looks like a sixth-grade rascal.
(C) Because God loves all of us, you atheist pig.
(D) Because God loves a baseball player who moonlights as a prop comic.
(E) All of the above.