5.19.2014

Gorman Thomas, 1979 Topps


Name: Gorman Thomas
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Position: Outfield
Value of card: One hateful scowl
Key 1978 stat: Voted most luxurious hair in the greater Milwaukee area
Clearing up some rumors about Gorman Thomas:
  • Gorman Thomas was not constantly angry. He just lacked the facial muscles needed to smile.
  • Gorman Thomas was not afraid to show some skin. He was afraid to wear any color except blue, however.
  • Gorman Thomas did not, in fact, know what a "Gorman" was either.
  • Gorman Thomas did not, in his later years, intentionally begin to resemble a St. Bernard dog. But he did wear a barrel of booze around his neck at times.
  • Gorman Thomas' hair was not more impressive than his baseball talent. His ability to eat pickled eggs, however, was legendary.

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