Drew Hall, 1990 Upper Deck

Name: Drew Hall
Team: Texas Rangers
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: 16 used dental rubber bands
Key 1989 stat: 12 hours spent getting clay impressions made of his teeth
Let's see what Drew Hall stands for:

Dentist deferred to the orthodontist for a few years
Rubber bands taste rubbery when swallowed
Eating proved difficult so he drank blended doughnuts through a straw
Wounds in the gums make chewing tobacco much harder

Hellacious pain after a tightening
Ancestors would have had teeth like a bowl full of broken glass
Little did he know his orthodontia would be preserved for posterity on a baseball card
Laugh now; these braces gave him a winning smile he's still flashing today

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