Name: Matt Drews
Team: Some Detroit Tigers farm team or other
Positions: Pitcher, radar gun holder, jorts model
Value of card: In cents, the same number of starts he made in the majors (Hint: Less than one)
Past, present, and future: This wonderful baseball card set featured some of sports' greatest heroes, then-current stars and biggest prospects. It also featured what appears to be a close-up photo of a graham cracker at the bottom, but we digress. Here's the past, present and future of Matt Drews at the time the above photo was taken.
Past: His best fastball; his best breaking ball; all self-respect; the touch of a woman who wasn't being paid.
Present: Not being allowed on the field; holding a radar gun that doesn't work; drawing obscene images on his notepad instead of taking notes; wondering why his photo is being taken when he's in the stands.
Future: Two straight seasons at Toledo with 14 or more losses and a 7-plus ERA; a job at a car rental agency; more jorts; being mocked on a mediocre baseball card blog.