Name: Charles Haley
Team: San Francisco 49ers
Position: Defensive end, linebacker
Value of card: 3 cents worth of gasoline
Key 1991 stat: 420 horsepower
Top 10 places Charles Haley was heading after this photo was taken:
10) To his home to ride his hog (an actual pig) in peace.
9) To a turtleneck fashion show.
8) To a Harley-Davidson dealership to take whatever bike he wanted without paying.
7) To a race with Rick Mirer.
6) To an audition for an acting role as a 6-foot-6 Steve Urkel.
5) To deep into the blue, apparently.
4) To wherever you want, Mr. Haley. We're so sorry for asking. Please, let us polish your chopper.
3) To god knows where; he can't see anything through those glasses.
2) To your mom's house to return her jeans.
1) To anywhere but there, after driving over a Pro Line photographer.