12.14.2013

Larry Parrish, 1982 Donruss


Name: Larry Parrish
Team: Montreal Expos
Position: Third base
Value of card: Unlike his beard, it's not priceless
Key 1981 stat: 761 ladies who swooned at the sight of his beard
10 glorious things about Larry Parrish's beard:
10) With just a bit of dye, it allowed him to sing in front of thousands of fans at a Kenny Rogers concert.
9) It deflected bullets when he was shot on the mean streets of Montreal.
8) He could use it to remove baked-on food from pots and pans.
7) It provided a convenient place to store chew spit.
6) It allowed him to apply to become part of this illustrious group; his request is still pending.
5) He could be Chewbacca every Halloween.
4) It made him the manliest man in Japan when he played for the Hanshin Tigers and Yakult Swallows.
3) It took attention away from the "blinding pinwheel" Expos uniform.
2) He was able to spend his offseason working as a mountain goat.
1) It winked at the ladies for him.
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