12.26.2013

Bert Blyleven, 1991 Upper Deck


Name: Bert Blyleven
Team: California Angels
Position: Starter
Value of card: 28 grains of sand
Key 1990 stat: 1,932 hairs in beard
Top 10 things Bert Blyleven has fun doing at the beach:
10) He sunbathes, dressed in only a beard.
9) He struts around and asks all the bikini-clad chicks if they've made it to third base with a Hall of Famer.
8) He takes kids' beach balls, kneels down and laughs about it.
7) Rather than kicking sand in nerds' faces, he full-windup pitches it at them.
6) He makes a sand Angel.
5) He leads a wave.
4) He goes topless and shows off his jockstrap "bikini."
3) Secretly, he spikes the ocean with booze and tells everyone to drink up.
2) He spends hours on his sandbeard.
1) He catches crabs.
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