10.29.2013

Junior Seau, 1994 Coca-Cola Monsters of the Gridiron (Halloween Week 2013 No. 2)


Name: Junior Seau, aka "Stealth"
Team: San Diego Charred-gers
Position: Linebacker
Value of card: One picture of a stealth bomber, torn in two
Key 1994 splat: 19-pound belt buckle
Ways in which Junior "Stealth" Seau was not very stealthy:
  • All that metal plate clanged a lot when he moved.
  • That blue face paint may have been stealthy, but his biceps weren't camouflaged at all!
  • Those shiny gold arm guards could be seen from miles away.
  • His number was clearly visible. It's like he wasn't even trying!
  • That pointy helmet would likely just end up poking somebody as he walked by.
  • He was too proud of his flatulence to ever really enter stealth mode.

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