Bruce Hurst, 1987 Topps

Name: Bruce Hurst
Team: Boston Red Sox
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Frostbite
Key 1986 stat: NA
Here's what Bruce Hurst stands for:

Bundled up against the cold?
Right, Brucie, we all know you're just hiding a hickey
Unless that's your favorite blankey that your gam-gam made you
Cold weather never made Roger Clemens look like such a wuss
Eh, the steroids probably had something to do with that, though

Hmm, maybe that's some sort of knock-off ascot?
Unfashionable, but warm
Rookie hazing doesn't make people look this silly
Sure, we know it's chilly, but that doesn't change this fact:
Towels as scarves aren't nearly as fun as chicken and beer

Card suggested by Tyler Kepner

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