8.13.2013

Pete Rose, 2012 Upper Deck Goodwin Champions (Goodwin Champions Week No. 2)


Name: Pete Rose
Team: Cincinnati Reds
Position: Outfield/infield/child laborer
Value of card: A 5-year-old's drawing of poop
Key 1977 (maybe) stat: Never actually looked like this
Just stellar work, Upper Deck: What the hell is this? We thought these illustrations were supposed to be life-like. Instead, we've got what appears to be an oil painting made by a sixth-grader of Pete Rose wearing a velour track suit and a gold watch. What, is he Tony Soprano's dimwit underage bodyguard? It seems as though Rose has gnawed off the outer edges of those bat barrels like a beaver and mashed the damp shavings together to create the wig on his head. And is that a baseball glove he's carrying in his other hand? It looks more like some sort of poorly constructed wicker basket. At least the look on Rose's face seems legitimate, although it's more likely that he had that expression of disappointment and constipation after viewing this portrait. Really, excellent job, fellas.
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3 comments:

  1. I have this one. He looks like "waxing the car" Biff from the end of Back to the Future.

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  2. I have your car towed all the way back to your house, and all you got for me is light beer?

    ReplyDelete