8.14.2013

Karl Malone, Dennis Rodman, Hulk Hogan, 2012 Goodwin Champions (Goodwin Champions Week No. 3)


Names: Karl Malone, Dennis Rodman, Hulk Hogan
Teams: Utah Jazz, Chicago Bulls, NWO
Positions: Forward, forward, suplex
Value of card: Getting whacked across the back with a metal folding chair
Key 1998 stat: Got oiled up and cavorted in front of thousands
It's time for MatchupMania 2013:

Round 1: More career elbow-drops (Winner: Hogan)
Round 2: More people dropped by elbows (Winner: Malone)
Round 3: Wearing a cap to cover up a bald spot (Winner: Tie between Malone and Hogan)
Round 4: Appeared on a reality TV show (Winner: Tie between Rodman and Hogan)
Round 5: Most macho (Winner: Hogan)
Round 6: Not weighed down by bulky championship belts or rings (Winner: Malone)
Round 7: Rowdiest (Winner: Rodman)
Round 8: Most embarrassed by this whole episode (Winner: Malone)
Round 9: Most familiar with the Iron Sheik's groin (Winner: Hogan)
Round 10: Wore a wedding dress (Winner: Rodman)
Round 11: Wore a tutu (Winner: Hogan)

Final score: Hogan 4, Malone 3, Rodman 2 (Ties: 2)

Synopsis: Sure, it was more brutal than Linda Hogan's botoxed face, but the Hulkster finally went top rope on these two wrestling wannabes. The victory isn't really that surprising, though, considering Rodman was probably drunk and Malone never could win much of anything.  
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