Jim Kelly, 2012 Upper Deck Goodwin Champions (Goodwin Champions Week No. 6)

Name: Jim Kelly
Team: Buffalo Bills
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: 3 ounces of tobacco spit (from 1985)
Key 1985 stat: 3 ounces of tobacco spit put in a bottle and forgotten until 2013
10 bigger douches than Jim Kelly in 1985:
10) Can't think of one.
9) No human equivalent comes to mind.
8) Actually, it's impossible.
7) No chance.
6) Can't happen in this universe.
5) Nonsensical question.
4) C'mon, look at the guy.
3) Nope, not even the esteemed Mr. Douchy von Doucherson.
2) OK, OK, we got one: An actual jumbo size Summer's Eve Douche Fresh Scent box
1) And, yes: The reflection in the mirror when Kelly looks at it.

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