7.09.2013

Wade Boggs, 1986 Classic


Name: Wade Boggs
Team: Boston Red Sox
Position: Third base
Value of card: 11 bare bones from already eaten chicken wings
Key 1985 stats: 64 Miller Lites drank on a cross-country flight
Wade Boggs, apparently, was a prop comic. Here are some of his "jokes":
  • Carry around a rubber chicken; swing it like a baseball bat at underhand pitches. Drink a Miller Lite.
  • Set up a bunch of watermelons; smash them with a baseball bat all over the crowd. Drink a Miller Lite.
  • Put on a batting helmet, a batting helmet with an "arrow" through it. Drink a Miller Lite.
  • Take a seat on the dugout bench after striking out; sit on a whoopee cushion. Drink a Miller Lite.
  • Insert a big pinch of chewing tobacco — in front of chattering teeth. Drink a Miller Lite.
  • Slowly move across the diamond with an extended collar and leash; say you're walking an invisible rubber chicken. Drink a Miller Lite. 

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