6.09.2013

John Stockton, 1993-94 Fleer Pro-Visions (Basketball Barf Art Week No. 7)


Name: John Stockton
Team: Utah Jazz
Position: Point guard
Value of card: Two dead AAA batteries
Key 1993-94 stat: Not actually that buff
Possible conversation between John Stockton and the basketball on the card above: 
John Stockton: "OK, basketball, prepare to begin dribbling."
Basketball: "John, I'm a basketball. This ham radio get-up isn't doing anything. It's just a voice in your head."
JS: "Shut up, basketball, or I'll destroy you with my conical, turquoise eye laser!"
BB: "You don't have an eye laser, John. Please stop making things up."
JS: "That's enough out of you! Just for that, I'm gonna dribble you extra hard."
BB: "Oof! Oof! Oh, wait, no, it doesn't actually hurt because, for some reason, you're dribbling me on grass in a national park."
JS: (Picks up ball, starts crying) "Why can't you be supportive of my imagination? I'm just trying to have a little fun! I suppose you like being held in Malone's sweaty palms better?"
BB: "Oh, thank god you stopped dribbling. You know that every time I hit the floor, I can see up your shorts, right?"

Card courtesy of Fat Shawn Kemp
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