Jamal Mashburn, 1994-95 Fleer Pro-Visions (Basketball Barf Art Week No. 6)

Name: Jamal Mashburn
Team: Dallas Mavericks
Position: Small forward
Value of card: Five chess pieces carved from petrified cow dung
Key 1994-95 stat: Zero games of chess won against computer (Difficulty: Easy)
Love is a punderful thing: Jamal Mashburn may have been a king on the court early in his career, but he was a total square when it came to the ladies. He tried every gambit he could think of in his efforts to find a mate, but all his ploys were put in check, leaving him alone to buff the bishop. His teammates showed no sympathy for his lack of game, asking him, "Hey, rook, what are you, some kind of queen?" Depressed, Mashburn pawned off nearly all of his belongings and took the money to his local watering hole      a move that would change everything. Around closing time, he finally met his match: a woman as down on her luck as he was. And so it was that Jamal Mashburn finally got a piece, all thanks to a one-knight stand.

Card courtesy of Fat Shawn Kemp

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