6.21.2013

Dan Marino, 1992 Upper Deck Football Heroes (Football Friday No. 163)


Name: Dan Marino
Team: Miami Dolphins
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: 11 VHS copies of "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"
Key 1991 stat: Four Isotoner gloves worn (two on right hand, one on left hand and one on, ahem)
Here's what Dan Marino stands for:

Dolphin lover — not in that way, sicko
Aqua Velva saturated and proud of it
Never won a title, except for "World's Sexiest Quarterback"

Miami man with one vice: looking good
Armed with a football, ravishing looks and an 18-pound jacket
Roles in films such as "Ace Ventura," "Holy Man" and "Little Nicky" are, um, legendary
Inside a stone oval, he invites your soft caress
Never met a collar he wouldn't pop
Orange skin a shade lighter than pigskin
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