6.12.2013

Casey Jones, 1989-1990 7th Inning Sketch (Stanley Cup Week No. 3)


Name: Casey Jones
Team: North Bay Centennials
Position: Mascot
Value of card: 14 tickets to watch the North Bay Centennials, a junior ice hockey team in the Ontario Hockey League before their disbandment in 2002
Key 1988-89 stat: 761 mustache twirls
The North Bay Centennials' scouting report on mascot Casey Jones: "Anyone who will pierce his skin with sharp twigs to emulate above-nose whiskers is OK in our book.  ... We think this guy can 'conduct' the offense and 'engineer' victories. ... His mouth is perfectly shaped to shoot cylinders long distances, so we won't need to buy one of those shirt-zookas to rile up the crowd. ... He's got a locomotive, that's for sure (so say the ladies). ... It's our intent to frighten the children who attend our games to the point that they crap the bed and don't sleep for weeks, so we can consider that accomplished. ... We'll need to get those cheek tumors looked at. ... We're interested, but we think he might get a big head. ... Hell, we're a junior hockey team in Ontario, sign him up and let him play wherever he wants!"

Card submitted by Douglas Corti
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