Rob Deer, 1986 Topps

Name: Rob Deer
Team: Milwaukee Brewers
Position: Outfield
Value of card: Six deer pellets
Key 1985 stat: Four months of hunting season
Hope you're hungry, it's recipe time: Here's how to cook steamed Rob venison

212 lbs. freshly cleaned Rob venison
14 oz. unkempt mullet mane
6 tbsp. bourbon-infused cheeks
4 pinches unseasoned chin
2 tsp. lip sweaters
Dash of pun

Gently rub the freshly cleaned Rob venison until tender. Add dash of pun. Giggle. Combine venison with mullet mane and toss. Add bourbon-infused cheeks, unseasoned chin and lip sweaters. Boil water. Place venison mixture in massive colander and affix loose-fitting lid. Wait. Wait. Wait. When Rob venison is steamed, run away.

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