4.08.2013

Troy Percival, 1992 Bowman


Name: Troy Percival
Team: California Angels
Position: Closer
Value of card: 16 blades of grass (dead and dried)
Key 1991 stat: One pair of jeans owned
Transcript from Los Angeles-area TV commercial, circa 1992: "Howdy, sports fans. I'm Troy Percival of the California Angels, and I wear Black Jeans. Why Black Jeans? Because nothing makes you look hotter and keeps your goods sweatier than Black Jeans. You can wear Black Jeans with just about anything, even an atrocious blue T-shirt with buttons. Boom. Black Jeans. Say you're at the mall and some other guy is wearing bluejeans. Guess what? He's a sucker. You're wearing Black Jeans and all the girls want you. Boom. Like to wear your mom's watch? Boom. You look more like a man if you wear your mom's watch while you're wearing Black Jeans. Boom. Have a crazy-dope flat top? It's crazier and doper when you're wearing Black Jeans. Boom. Remember: The whitest dudes on the block wear Black Jeans. Boom."
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