Cliff Harris, 1975 Topps (Football Friday No. 156)

Name: Cliff Harris
Team: Dallas Cowboys
Position: Safety
Value of card: No less than if it had been thrown off a cliff
Key 1975 stat: Male pattern baldness
Here's what Cliff Harris stands for:

Cowboys might want to bring this guy back, after this past season
Laugh all you want at his hair, he still got more ladies than you
I mean it though       go ahead and laugh at his hair
Forty-three: Harris' uniform number
Forty-four: Inches of Harris' forehead

Handlebars would have made that mustache even sweeter
Ability to defend passes surpassed only by ability to avoid barbershops
Retired early to avoid risks of NFL life       and went drilling for oil
Rogaine, dude. Rogaine.
Immaculate mane flowing in the breeze
Six Pro Bowls played in       all before the game was moved to Hawaii (*sad trombone noise*)

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