3.21.2013

Karl Malone, Mark Eaton, John Stockton, 1989-90 Fleer All-Star (Ball-Busting Basketball Week No. 4)


Names: Karl Malone, Mark Eaton, John Stockton
Teams: Utah Jazz, Western Conference All-Stars
Positions: Hall-of-Fame power forward, regular center, Hall-of-Fame point guard
Value of card: Four pasty legs
Key 1990 stat: 6,042 locker room jokes made off of Eaton's last name
It's time to bust some balls, Matchup style:

Round 1: Ginger beard (Winner: Eaton)
Round 2: Skin that won't make you snowblind (Winner: Malone)
Round 3: Looks just as goofy sitting as he does standing (Winner: Eaton)
Round 4: Shorts that keep everything snug (Winner: Tie between Eaton and Stockton)
Round 5: Actual muscle definition (Winner: Malone)
Round 6: Bowl haircut (Winner: Stockton)
Round 7: Ability to see Eaton's bald spot (Winner: Tie between Stockton and Malone)
Round 8: Elbows like spearheads (Winner: Malone)
Round 9: Too cool for wristbands (Winner: Stockton)

Final score: Malone 3, Eaton 2, Stockton 2 (Ties: 2)

Synopsis: This shootout came down to the buzzer, but the Mailman elbowed his way to the top past the best assist man in NBA history and a guy who resembles an ogre.

Card courtesy of FatShawnKemp.com
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