2.16.2013

Paul Gibson, 1989 Score


Name: Paul Gibson
Team: Detroit Tigers
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: Not enough to hold onto it
Key 1989 stat: This card was seen by thousands and thousands of laughing children
Not blurry enough: There are two people in this photo, Paul Gibson and infielder Luis Salazar. Let's see how they fare in The Matchup.

Round 1: Bigger attention-grabber (Winner: Gibson)
Round 2: Bigger grabber of other things (Winner: Salazar)
Round 3: Well-adjusted (Winner: Gibson)
Round 4: About to be even better adjusted (Winner: Salazar)
Round 5: Scratching the surface of his talent (Winner: Gibson)
Round 6: Scratching the surface of his tallywhacker (Winner: Salazar)
Round 7: More sane (Winner: Gibson)
Round 8: Just plain nuts (Winner: Salazar)
Round 9: Poor timing that caused a card company to airbrush out part of his arm (Winner: Salazar)

Final score: Salazar 5, Gibson 4

Synopsis: Poor Paul Gibson. First, he gets mocked for being a giant nerd, now he can't even win a Matchup on his own card, thanks to some utility guy scratching himself at exactly the wrong moment. It doesn't take glasses as thick as Gibson's to see that he just can't win.
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