1.01.2013

John Denny and Vern Ruhle, 1983 Topps


Names: John Denny, Vern Ruhle
Teams: Philadelphia Phillies, Houston Astros
Positions: Pitcher, one and all
Value of cards: What's 2 x 0?
Key 1982 stats: Zero smiles
Happy New Year: Here at the Bust, we don't often highlight two cards in one post, but when those two cards each feature the classic Topps pose known as "The Pit Stain," we figure they must be ripe for a Matchup.

Round 1: Chins (Winner: Denny      2-0, a shutout!)
Round 2: Sleeve length (Winner: Ruhle)
Round 3: Number of letters in name (Winner: Tie)
Round 4: Number of first names in name (Winner: Denny)
Round 5: Crater face (Winner: Ruhle)
Round 6: Photo taken at the gates of heaven (Winner: Denny, apparently)
Round 7: Wispy facial hair (Winner: Denny)
Round 8: Ability to close mouth completely (Winner: Denny)
Round 9: Ability to look cool while doing this pose (Winner: Tie      nobody has ever managed this)


Final score: Denny 5, Ruhle 2 (Ties: 2)

Synopsis: Denny hits a grand slam (breakfast) and greases the opposition, thanks to his defined jaw line and much-less-defined mustache.

Cards suggested by Tyler Kepner
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