1.27.2013

Derek Hill, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 21)


Name: Derek Hill
Team: Phoenix Cardinals
Position: Wide receiver
Value of card: 4 inches of ripped shoelace
Key 1990 stat: Eight hours of leg shaving a week
Transcript from Phoenix-area TV commercial for NFL Women's Wear, circa 1991: "Hello, ladies. I'm Derek "The Thrill" Hill, and I'm here to tell you about NFL Women's Wear, the hottest styles from the hottest sport for you, the hottest females around. NFL Women's Wear features all kinds of styles, and I'm wearing many of them right now. (camera pans slowly from head to feet) Just check out these ladies size 22 Adidas running shoes, and this comfy-omfy sweatshirt, great for curling up with that special guy in your life. And, of course, NFL Women's Wear offers the sexiest booty shorts on the market today, perfect for showing off your freshly shaved legs. Are your legs smooth enough? I know mine are? (camera pans across legs, with light gleaming off them) And our biggest seller (winks) the NFL Women's Wear thong, which I'm sporting right now. Toodles!"
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