12.06.2012

Randy Braun, 1990 CMC


Name: Randy Braun
Team: Indianapolis Indians
Position: Infield
Value of card: Two chunks of dried lacquer from a cigar store Indian
Key 1989 stat: Eight "driples" (official scorecard doubles when thrown out trying to take third)
Montreal Expos' scouting report on minor-leaguer Randy Braun: "Clearly his last name is a misnomer. ...  Doesn't mind playing on a team with an even more racist and less artistic American Indian logo than we see in Cleveland. ... We'll need to remind him his pocket protector isn't part of the uniform. ... Might have a future as our minor league mustache coordinator. ... Fills our quota of gingers; oh, wait, we don't want any gingers. ... With a little work, we can turn his tuft of bangs into the beginnings of an Indian feather. ... If his elf ears are any indication, he might have magical powers. ... His eyes are the color of mine if I were to tell you that he had a shot at the big leagues."
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