12.21.2012

Dick Shiner, 1969 Topps (Football Friday No. 145)


Name: Dick Shiner (stop it)
Team: Pitts. Steelers
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: A dab of shoe polish on your khakis
Key 1969 stat: Used green-screen technology before that was a thing
Conversation between a Topps photographer and Dick Shiner, circa March 1969:
Topps photog: "OK, sir, what's your position?"
Dick Shiner: "I'm the quarterback."
TP: "OK, great. Now, go ahead and act like you're throwing a pass, and I'll take some pictures."
DS: (Poses as seen above.)
TP: "Um, you said 'quarterback,' right?
DS: "Yes, that's right."
TP: "Hmm, OK, can you try to use your natural throwing stance? This looks a little stiff."
DS: "This is my natural stance."
TP: "Even how you're holding the ball?"
DS: "Yup."
TP: "Ohhhh-kay. Well, that's all I need, then. Oh, wait, I almost forgot to get your name, sir."
DS: "My name's Dick Shiner."
TP: "Excuse me?"
DS: "Dick. Shiner. S-H-I-N-E-R."
TP: "Sir, children collect these cards, so I'd appreciate it if you could tell me your actual name."
DS: (Pulls out driver's license, brusquely hands it to photog.)
TP: "Wow. You sure you wouldn't rather go by 'Richard'?"
DS: "No. People call me Dick, you little punk."
TP: "Right. You know, I'm sure they do."
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