12.02.2012

Andy Heck, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 13)


Name: Andy Heck
Team: Seattle Seahawks
Position: Offensive tackle
Value of card: Not a whole heck of a lot
Key 1991 stat: Zero carbon footprint
Clearing up some rumors about Andy Heck:
  • Andy Heck did not use overly dramatic lighting for this photo shoot. Rather, he was energy-conscious before it was cool.
  • Andy Heck did not have trouble lifting those 50-pound weights. He did, apparently, have trouble putting them back when he was done. How about a little common courtesy, bro?
  • Andy Heck did have eyes. But they really bulged out when he was lifting. It was disconcerting.
  • Andy Heck's real name was actually Andy Hell. He was just always so darned polite that he could never bring himself to say it.
  • Andy Heck's shirt really is soaked with sweat in the above photo, but not due to physical exertion. It's because he's terrified of the dark.

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