Dmitri Young, 2004 Upper Deck Power Up! (Our Buddy Dmitri Young Week No. 1)

Name: Dmitri Young
Team: Detroit Tigers
Position: Designated hitter
Value of card: SXX5S9WZ9, which equals nothing
Key 2003 stat: 100 (not sure of what, but figure it's important because it's on the front of the card)
Welcome to Our Buddy Dmitri Young Week: A few months ago, Dmitri Young let us know in no uncertain terms that he held The Bust in about as high of esteem as Tigers fans held Mr. Young after his last few mediocre seasons in Detroit. Mr. Young didn't like this post, you see, and he let us know. We respect that. The jokes are about as lackluster as Mr. Young's seasons with the Washington Nationals. So we intend to prove to Mr. Young that we can do better. We'll spend this Thanksgiving week showing him just how thankful we are for his opinion. We appreciate the constructive criticism, Mr. Young.
10 reasons Mr. Young's head is so big:
10) He was trying to draw attention away from such an amateur card background.
9) It's not; he was afflicted with the exceedingly rare Shrinking Body Disease.
8) He mistook the Upper Deck's "power up" instructions
7) He would do anything to show off his awesome goatee.
6) He just liked how funny his little arms looked in comparision.
5) He looked at a star player's stats and got them confused with his own.
4) He was the Tigers' DH: Deformed Head.
3) He misunderstood a teammate's slump-breaking advice to "get more head."
2) He was auditioning for a spot in "NBA Jam."
1) He saw The Bust was profiling him for a full week.


  1. Did he actually contact you? If so, could you share more detail about what he said?

  2. Yes, or at least his lawyer did. Better not to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that one of them literally misread something. Nothing came of it except for, of course, this themed week.

  3. That is amazing! Thanks for having fun with it.

    And Dmitri, if you're out there reading: lighten up! Nothing on this blog is serious. Even baseball's legends get teased here.