10.21.2012

Franco Harris, 1991 Pro Line Portraits (Shameful Sunday Portraits No. 7)


Names: Franco Harris, unnamed child
Teams: Pittsburgh Steelers, O'Deas Valley Preschool
Positions: Fullback (retired), covered in own spit-up (always)
Value of card: One used Binky
Key 1990 stat: One birth, one beard
It's time for a man-vs.-child version of The Matchup:

Round 1: Childlike look in the eye (Winner: Tie)
Round 2: Child's carefree attitude about grooming (Winner: Tie)
Round 3: No resemblance to a modern-day football player (Winner: Tie)
Round 4: Tooth under pillow for tooth fairy (Winner: Tie)
Round 5: Completely awestruck by a bunch of balloons (Winner: Tie)
Round 6: Needs to, ahem, be changed (Winner: Tie)

Score: Harris 0, unnamed child 0, Ties 6

Synopsis: One was an old man, the other a tiny baby, but deep down, these two were more alike than different, which was reinforced by Harris and the unnamed child both wearing white onesies.
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