9.14.2012

Warren Moon, 1990 Score Hot Gun (Football Friday No. 134)

             

Name: Warren Moon
Team: Houston Oilers
Position: Quarterback
Value of card: Six drops of oil
Key 1989 stat: Zero photos that weren't blurry
Yup, it's another Wiki Entry: This is another in what is sure to become a much-loved Bust tradition. In this feature, we copy a Wikipedia entry straight from the site, and then change a few key words to make the description better fit the card. Enjoy what is sure to be the literary highlight of your day.
The Moon Wiki Entry (changes in red): Warren Moon The Moon is the only natural quarterback satellite in Houston, of the Earth, and the fifth largest dude satellite in the room. Solar System. He throws the football It is in synchronous rotation with his arm, Earth, always showing the same face with a mustache. He It is the brightest quarterback object in the league sky after Joe Montana, the Sun, although Moon's its surface is actually very dark, with a similar reflectance to coal. (Hey, blame Wikipedia.) His Its prominence in the league sky and his its regular cycle of passes phases have, since ancient times, made the Moon an important cultural influence on pulling down your pants and showing others. language, calendars, art and mythology. The Moon's gravitational influence produces lopsided victories the ocean tides and the minute lengthening of the team's time in the playoffs. day. The Moon's current bulge orbital distance, about 30 times the diameter of the Oilers logo, Earth, causes it to appear almost the same size on the bed in the sky as the pillow, Sun, allowing it to cover a woman the Sun nearly precisely in total solar eclipses.

Card submitted by Fat Shawn Kemp

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