9.10.2012

Mark Davis and Bret Saberhagen, 1990 Classic


Name: "Royal Flush": Mark Davis and Bret Saberhagen
Team: Kansas City Royals
Positions: Pitchers
Value of card: Two free tickets to a Royals spring training game
Key 1989 stat: Six teeth-whitening sessions apiece
It's time for a Kansas City special version of The Matchup:
Round 1: Blindingly blue gloves (Winner: Tie)
Round 2: Mini-mullet growth (Winner: Tie)
Round 3: Sweet, sassy, golden tans (Winner: Tie)
Round 4: Freshly laundered uniforms (Winner: Tie)
Round 5: Teeth as shiny as their uniforms (Winner: Tie)
Round 6: Hand-holding below photo frame (Winner: Tie)
Round 7: Height (Winner: Davis)

Score: Davis 1, Saberhagen 0, Ties 6

Synopsis: Everything about them seemed to be the same, including their fates, stuck within a Zubaz- and gay-tiger-inspired baseball card. But Mark Davis inched ahead of the Cy Young winner, who could argue the only real difference between the two was talent.

The losers: In the end, no one really won, especially card collectors, most of whom followed this card's advice and deposited it in the toilet.
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