9.04.2012

Jose Cruz, 1986 Fleer League Leaders


Name: Jose Cruz
Team: Houston Astros
Position: Outfield
Value of card: 3 ounces of Houston-area tap water, spit in your face
Key 1985 stat: 16 creases in one card
What a gamer! Jose Cruz led the league in these categories in 1985:
  • Scary rape stares at no one in particular.
  • Outfield. Yup. Outfield.
  • Gargantuan Puerto Rican afros
  • Indecipherable interviews with The Bust.
  • Showing up to empty stadiums three hours after games ended.
  • Cruz'n.
  • Unfitting hats.
  • Being a complete and total Astro.
  • Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez look-alike contest victories.
  • Cheesy, baby-blue pinstriped baseball cards.

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