9.12.2012

Jimmy Key, 1988 Topps


Name: Jimmy Key
Team: Toronto Blue Jays
Position: Pitcher
Value of card: A single tear
Key 1987 stat: Forever alone
Jimmy Key's train of thought from 7:21 to 7:24 p.m., April 23, 1988: "Hey, how come nobody wants to sit with me? Guys? I don't have a no-hitter going, you know. You wouldn't be jinxing anything. ... What, is it my plastic second-layer shirt? I know it makes strange noises, but that's not actually me farting. See, look. (rubs plastic shirt material together) Ha-ha, it sure sounds like it though. That's funny. ... But seriously, guys, come on. I just want some company. We can talk about whatever you want. Or we don't have to talk at all. You can just ignore me, pretend I'm not even there, like my wife does. ... No one? Not even if I warm up the seat with my hand? Aw, this sucks. I knew I should have showered this week."
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